Semester Conclusion II
“Nothing is more joyous than the days in May. Softened is the sunlight filtered through the shades. Never had I breathed a sigh at the end of spring. For the summer, is far too near. And I know for sure: Nothing lasts forever.”
– Nameless I
Here I am, standing at the edge of the Senior II, about to draft the conclusion for this semester.
Looking back to all this year, feelings mixed with despair, sorrow, lingering joy, and relief would well up and overwhelm my thoughts. Should the tinge plum and blossoms brought the news of spring, a term with the most tragic ups and downs began, amidst which I tasted the bitterness of struggles for an essay, fighting against every segmentation fault and concurrency issues and in the very end, for the first time, I went on, and calmly delivered the presentation of hoshi-lang in front of provincial specialists, in the wake of which, 1st prize award was delivered, pacifying all of the recurring thoughts of giving up, and self-criticism.
This semester also witnessed great changes on my social interactions. Thunder and rain declared the presence of summer, pouring hard in my heart. For a long period of time, I had been indulging myself in deprecation and doubt. It was not only a sudden kindness delivered by other with the sentence that etched deeply into my heart, that it finally dawned on me that a small act of kindness can really enlighten one’s path ahead and bring the sunlight that one was desperately seeking for. Should I have aware of long before, false hope only drives people into deeper despair. Those days were accompanied with rosy illusions, where I had once thought I find the person I could confide with, share all of my eccentric thoughts with, rely on and expose all my weakness. Later, I chanced upon that it was only her baseline. False hope only drives people into deeper despair. Still I cherished the very sentence “How dare you address yourself like this?”, those fragmented memories of casual complain of weather after a thunderstorm noon nap, the very moment one slid her books to me on a sudden biology pop-up question. Because those once brought this numb and frozen heart warmth and liveliness just like how I wrote to her in the first slip, “Having your warm and lively presence in this monotonous life, is my greatest pleasure”.
“Alas, it has to be futile. A storm approaching, A silent cry. Thunder covered my footsteps, Darkness enveloped the night. I leave with no traces. But this blue rhyme.”
– Nameless II
I always know, what matters is not the end of a journey but the journey itself. It was pitiful, though beautiful. Eventually, onward the dark clouds would drift into the distance, seasons would change, pulses would fade. Throughout this journey, the feeling I had were genuine, the discovery of my ability to love someone would not disappear. They would bear the witness of Jerry Chou’s bittersweet past, and be carried along to the future. What makes life special is the very uncertainty. You never know what tomorrow brings, perhaps an unexpected encounter, or another setback. In the very inconsistency, lies the opportunity. I guess that’s where this conclusion discontinued. So long, my friend. May you commemorate the beauty along the way and witness the end of this journey. Thy eternal summer shall not fade.
Jerry Chou July, 10th, 2026.
